{"title":"Funny Apparel","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"women-s-port-co-tee","title":"Women’s Port \u0026 Co Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003ePort \u0026amp; Co women’s tee\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Goods ND","offers":[{"title":"Large","offer_id":50917711642724,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":50917711675492,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0805\/4898\/6980\/files\/5F75FB9E-0937-4C22-A102-D070E823FC9D.jpg?v=1790631480"},{"product_id":"men-s-plead-the-5th","title":"Men’s Plead the 5th Hanes T-Shirt","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOCCIFER, I’D LIKE TO PLEAD THE FIFTH TEE\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYour honor, the shirt speaks for itself.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSome shirts need an explanation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis one probably needs a lawyer.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe “Occifer, I’d Like to Plead the Fifth” tee takes that infamous moment when your mouth is moving faster than your brain and turns it into a shirt everyone at the bar will understand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eComplete with a vintage whisky bottle graphic and deliberately scrambled wording, this tee has the perfect mix of dry humor, bad decisions, and plausible deniability.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFor The Friend Who Is Always “Fine”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou know the one.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThey said they were only having one.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThen one became a few.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNow “officer” has somehow become \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“occifer”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and they suddenly remember they have constitutional rights.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis shirt was made for that friend.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOr maybe you are that friend.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe are not here to judge.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Joke Gets Better The Longer You Look\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAt first, they notice the whisky bottle.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThen they start reading.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Occifer, I’d like to plead the fifth!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd there it is.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe kind of stupid funny joke that earns a double take, a laugh, and probably a story that starts with:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“That reminds me of this one time…”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eVintage Bar Humor You Can Actually Wear\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe gray tee, dark ink, distressed bottle graphic, and mixed typography give this design an old school novelty shirt feel.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for backyard parties, weekends with the guys, trips to the bar, bachelor weekends, birthdays, or gifting to the friend whose stories always seem to involve the words \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“long story.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt is not trying to be classy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt is trying to be funny.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd it gets the job done.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePlead The Fifth. Wear The Shirt.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou could explain what happened last night.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOr you could exercise your right to remain mysteriously quiet.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGrab the “Occifer, I’d Like to Plead the Fifth” tee and let everyone draw their own conclusions.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Goods ND","offers":[{"title":"Medium","offer_id":50920260075620,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0805\/4898\/6980\/files\/21A6B460-C653-4B3D-8332-36C52B91FC57.jpg?v=1790633214"}],"url":"https:\/\/thegoodsnd.com\/collections\/funny-apparel.oembed","provider":"The Goods ND","version":"1.0","type":"link"}